You know how it is when you’re that weirdo girl who’s always at your local, magical makeup department store? Yeah, your that girl who basically lives there.

Today, you’re on the hunt for a lip plumper to rival botox, when suddenly, you need help. The lip fattener isn’t where it’s supposed to be (oh pooh). You approach a sales associate when it happens.

Somewhere between here and the shimmering aisles of peptide imbued lip gloss, false lashes, and super matte lippies you dropped your heart. You feel like a secondhand generic Barbie looking at gorgeous gay Ken.

Sales guy has beautiful honey browns rimmed in mascaraed lashes, and a full nude pout. The innocence and softness in his face makes you melt.

You know there is a rift called sexual orientation between you two, but when you talk about makeup, there’s this spark. You kind of get each other, and it’s a little magical– like Angelina Jolie’s mouth, or Beyonce’s everything.

You know it’s a hell of a long shot, but you already see yourself getting married to him at your pansexual wedding. Now you just need to get him to say yes to coffee and pedi’s.

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